Religion and Spirituality are they Compatible?

I have decided to write this blog as a precursor to a possible group chat I plan to have in the near future.  Two years ago I attended a 3 day Pastoral Care course held by the Anglicare Centre for Pastoral Development.

One of the topics we spent time on was spirituality. We discussed what it means for some people and what it means for Christians.  The church in a sense is attempting to understand why some people still believe they are spiritual and loved by God despite not honouring Gods commands in the Bible.

Is There a One Size Fits all Definition for who Qualifies as a Spiritual Person? 

Spirituality is quite a broad term and has a hazy definition depending on who you ask.

A spiritual person who does not attend a church but participates in secular charitable works and expresses love for others will claim he or she feels close to God and is loved by God.

The modern day spiritual person wants to be free from conforming to the rules set out by religious institutions. This then begs the question.  Is religion and spirituality compatible?

These are the main differences I see between the two, viz:

1. Spiritual people wish to be free of rules and doctrines whilst religious people see doctrines and obediance and carrying out Gods will  as the foundation for salvation.  Matthew 7 v 21 ‘‘Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” 
2. Spiritual people follow their hearts and in a sense become creators of their own lives and destinies. Religion says no to following your heart . “the heart is treacherous and who can know it? “(Jeremiah 17 v9).
3. Spiritual people say you should live your life connected to the universal spirit honouring what you feel is divine. Religion says you must strive to have a personal relationship with God and His Son. Religion also insists that you should worship the Father as He is worthy of worship and praise. Luke 4 v8  Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.’”
4. Spiritual people strive to connect with their highest self. Religion wants you to connect with God.
5. Spiritual people say I AM LOVE. Religion says GOD IS LOVE ( 1 John 4 v16 ).
6.  Spiritual people say its ok to believe in your own truth. Religion says Jesus is the Truth. (John 14 v 16).

I am sure that you will agree that at this point and after reading the above differences it is clear that spirituality and religion are not compatible.

Being spiritual and being aware of ones spirituality does however offer a far healthier way to live your life.

Learning to love others and to express  love, compassion and empathy for others is very often a bridge to finding the true God. But please note what I have said here.

In the process of being spiritual and loving towards others it is still necessary for us to search for the true God.

Why have Spiritual People Moved Away From Religion?

In my experience many Christians struggle to express love for others as they are too focused on rules and doctrines of the church.

They are quick to judge others who don’t agree with their views and they have an air of superiority similar to the pharisees in Jesus’ day.

It is no surprise then that many people who want to be masters of their own destinies have found other pathways to enlightenment.

Christians and Secular Spiritual People have Similar Health and Wealth Gospels

The problem I have with spiritual people who claim to be able to manifest health and wealth in their lives by merely meditating on it and sending out positive vibes to the universe is that it is just another belief system bordering on false religion.

Christians in certain circles also preach a health and wealth (prosperity) gospel which is a false gospel.

Similarly when prayer is replaced with incantations and meditation relying on magnectic fields and frequencies and quantam dynamics it becomes ‘Pseudoscience’.

This can be quite dangerous particularily when it makes highly exaggerated claims of cures of deadly diseases like cancer through the simple process of positive thought.

Is it Possible to Manifest a Cure for Every Disease?

If you have ever had a simple illness like a runny stomach you know that you cannot manifest a cure through positive thinking.

You either take medicine for it or you let the bug work its way through your system.

Whilst positive thought is beneficial for our overall well being we have to be careful not to rely on mans theories and instead we must frame our thoughts according to Gods word.  Romans 12 v 2 ” Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

False Optimism 

Spiritually minded people claim to benefit from optimistic thoughts and magnetic frequencies but at the end of the day it gives a person a sense of false optimism and unfortunately the tiny shreds of truth it offers sucks you into a bigger belief system which ultimatley pulls you away from God.

Instead of becoming obediant to God, a spiritual persons hope is in the universe and their own will to create miracles in their lives.

So where to from here? Is it ok to be spiritual and the master of your own destiny or should we turn to the Bible to guide us?

In my opinion spiritual people define their relationship with God as something that is personal and divine. By doing this it  allows them to circumvent the code of ethics and laws written in the Bible and it allows them to cheery pick scriptures that suit their personal beliefs.

Final Thoughts 

In conclusion, even though I am of the opinion that new age spirituality and religion are not compatible,  it is nevertheless encumbent on us to build a bridge between the two belief systems but ultimately the bridge must take  us on a path to God.

We don’t have to rely on sending out the right energy into the universe in order to manifest things in our lives. The Bible tells us that God wants us to rely on Him, and He will work all things together for our good (Romans 8:28).

God is our salvation. Jesus spoke of a time which i believe is now  “when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth.”  John 4:23.  Together we should strive to find the truth and we must be careful not to fall for mans interpretations as to how we can find true happiness.

As a result of the dwindling number of church attendees, religious groups and institutions around the world are scrambling to redefine what it means to be religious and what it means to be spiritual.

The million dollar question is viz: Are they compatible?

Join us for a friendly discussion hosted by a spiritual healer and a non-denominational Chaplain.

Details Below:

Venue: TBA

Date:   TBA

Entrance Fee: $10 ( Contributions will be used to pay for the hire of the venue and sundries).

Booking and Enquiries:  Please email Wayne at info@churchtrauma.net

A Common Question

I am often asked the question, “Do you believe in God ”? I mostly get this question from family and close friends following deep discussions on end time prophecy, the Trinity doctrine and Gods final judgment on mankind. I am always asked this question when I go against the grain.

Logic and Reason 

Christians today are never comfortable with logic and reason. They are so immersed in what the Bible says they can’t see the wood for the trees. Some try to simplify Christianity by focusing on Jesus, thinking that if they plug the many holes in the Bible with the name of Jesus I will stop pushing back against their theology. It only serves to heighten my compulsive and excessive introspection.

Martin Luther 

After completing my Chaplaincy Degree, I was left with more questions than answers. This I have realised is as a direct result of the churches attempt to hide its horrible History. The church has a unique talent i.e. its ability to paint past theologians as heroes instead of villains. One of these heroes is Martin Luther the seminal figure of the Post Reformation period.

Whilst Martin Luther had the courage to stand up to the Roman Catholic church he unfortunately became just like the Catholic church and forced his personal views on members of his new faith.

Martin Luther spoke out against using logic and reason when reading the Bible. He wrote, “All the articles of our Christian faith, which God has revealed to us in His Word, are in presence of reason sheerly impossible, absurd, and false.”  and “[That] Reason in no way contributes to faith. […] For reason is the greatest enemy that faith has; it never comes to the aid of spiritual things.”

Luther was also anti Jew. He considered and often preached that the Jews were blasphemers and liars because they rejected the divinity of Jesus.

Luther wrote negatively about the Jews throughout his career. In 1543 he published a 60 000-word paper entitled the Jews and their Lies, wherein he argued that Jews were no longer the chosen people but ” the devil’s people”.

Set Their Synagogues on Fire! 

Luther actually encouraged his church members to set synagogues on fire and to destroy all Jewish prayer books. He further stated that Jews homes should be destroyed and their money and property seized so that these “envenomed worms” would be forced into labour or expelled for all time.

If you had to ask members of the Lutheran church today if they are aware of Luther’s toxic past, most would admit they know nothing of it and those who are aware of it will sweep it aside and, in some cases, actually justify it.

Church Forefathers 

You can go back in history and select any of the church greats e.g. Augustine, Jerome, Ambrose, Thomas Aquinas, Justin Martyr, John Calvin, John Wesley up until today 21 February 2023 and you will find toxic teachings, racisim, bigotry, slavery and genocide.

Any devout Christian reading the above paragraph is already prepared to defend God and the Christian church. These Christian apologists and those before them are the very reason why I ask the deeper questions and why I refuse to worship the God of the Bible they so fervently worship.

The God Entity I admire 

The God entity I admire and want to get to know is the God who renews His Love for the world every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). Christians I want to hang out with are those who strive to carry each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).

Christians I don’t want to hang out with are those who never question anything that is written in the Bible. Those who skip past stories of violence and genocide and see nothing wrong with it. So, what they say if David killed 200 Philistines and brought their foreskins to King Saul so he could marry Saul’s daughter. So, what they say when a bald man who was teased by kids brings a curse on them so that two bears kill 42 of them. So, what if God said he didn’t want men with damaged testicles to be allowed to offer food at His temple.

A Deep Sadness

So, whilst Christians defend God and theologians continue to debate, epistemology, eschatology, hermeneutics and Bible translations I am left with a deep feeling of sadness for mankind. Not only am I sad for mankind I am equally sad for God.

God just can’t seem to get things right. His creation is flawed. Pastors and ministers remind all of us of our flawed and sinful natures every Sunday. God just doesn’t seem to be able to get enough people on His side.

God appears to be waiting for just the right number of worshippers before he brings this world to a close through a fiery judgment which man apparently has never seen or gone through before. I only have to refer Christian fanatics to the year 536. If the world did not end then it causes me to question if the apocalyptic writings within the Bible are true.

The God I Choose to Worship 

At the end of the day, I choose to not worship a monster God. I choose to worship a God who loves you into Him despite your sins. I choose to worship a God who would rather have a relationship with me because I am flawed rather than not have a relationship with me and instead opts to annihilate me and millions of others who don’t commit to a church and a belief system.

I choose to avoid all the trappings of religion and for God to shape me over time. I choose to walk my own path away from thoughts and prayers that lack genuine care.

In a sense I am denying the Christian God and I am denying the religious institutions who claim to know Him. I refuse to kiss the Popes ring just to get a seat at the table.

Most of my close friends and family who are very religious are shocked and frankly confused about my choice of worship because they have opted to read the Bible with preconceived ideas and a narrow lens. I pray that the God entity will eventually open their eyes and hearts so that they can have true peace, free of rules and rituals.

If you have suffered spiritual and church abuse and you wish to talk to me about it please feel free to email me here

Church Trauma Syndrome

Church trauma syndrome is related to regligious trauma syndrome (RTS).  Once a member  of a church leaves the church he or she may struggle to break away from the doctrines and teachings that controlled his or her life in the past.  A war is fought in the minds of ex church members as they begin to sift through what is real and what is not real.

What we Need to Remember

As we struggle with our thoughts and emotions we would do well to remember that God created us in His image.  Each of us have our own brain. Our body is still the temple where Gods spirit dwells. Because of Gods indwelling spirit we are capable of discerning scripture correctly without the need of  a pastor or a priest to interpret the scriptures for us.

Can we Benefit from Insights of Others?

We can benefit from the expertise of others, however this does not mean that we must surrender our thinking to all human beings. As we search for knowledge we must learn to use the Bible with other scientific and archeaological findings. We should approach the Bible as a surgeon uses his skills when performing delicate operations. We must do this methodically and with care.

When Experts are Dangerous

I read a story about a lady who battled to fall pregnant. She approached her pastor for advice thinking that God is punishing her. Instead of consoling the lady  the pastor merely agreed that her fertility problems are definitely as a result of Gods anger. You see as a teenager this same lady fell preganant and had an abortion. The pastor was reacting to her admission of having an abortion in a manner fitting of a religious zealot.

Love in our Design

If we look at nature and how we are designed there is no denying that an intelligent being created all life. As we breath out, plants absorb our carbon dioxide and plants in turn give us oxygen. Gods design is in support of life not to destroy it.

Church trauma syndrome occurs when the law of love is distorted by church leaders. They suggest that Gods love is conditional and authoritive. These church leaders insist that Gods love demands we behave in a certain way and if we dont we must face punishment. Fear of God and Gods retribution leads to trauma and continual feelings of guilt and shame. This is not healthy for anyone.

Is Church Trauma Real?

If the above mentioned question was asked 30 Years ago the answer would of been No! The reason for this is that Churches have hidden behind confidentiality clauses and court gagging orders for decades. Huge financial settlements were kept out of the media. Today this is almost impossible even if a gagging order is in place.

Trauma Across Generations

Pyschologists are currently looking into how church trauma has been passed on from generation to generation. Parents who share their negative experiences with the church have caused their children to mistrust all religious institutions.  Some adults who were impacted negatively through their parents trauma will not attend a wedding or a funeral in a church unless it is a small non-denominational church.

Current stats show that non-denominational churches are the fastest growing churches. Some mega churches have attempted to attract the younger generation by openly declaring they are supportive of same sex marriages and the LGBT community. This move has actually backfired and caused a split in the church resulting in more trauma and anxiety for its members. Many younger LGBT members see this move as being too little to late as the prior damage and stigmatising of this minority group in the past has caused deep emotional scarring.

Church Trauma Symptoms

Therapists in the past mainly dealt with trauma, patients experienced from living in war torn areas or having recently lost a child or a ugly divorce due to domestic violence. Today the definition of trauma has been expanded as well as the list of physical symptoms. The list of symptoms could include viz:

• Anxiousness.
• Depression.
• Panic Attacks.
• Nervousness and contsantly on edge.
• Feelings of Shame and Guilt.
• Lack of self confidence.
• Nightmares.
• Avoidance behaviour.
• Chronic insomnia.

When seeking help for church trauma it is advisable to talk to somebody who has some knowledge about church doctrines. It is no use talking to a therapist who is not aware of a fear based doctrine which you were constantly exposed to as a child through to your adult years. An example of such a doctrine is the teaching on Armageddon. Most therapists are not even aware that Armageddon is not an event in the future. Armageddon is an actual place. Therefore when preachers preach that Armageddon is here or we are shortly going to see the fulfillment of this event this is far from the truth. In addition most of the writings of the book of Revelation are apocolyptic in nature and is confined to the generation that was living in that time and a future prophecy of the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem.

If you are suffering from any of the symptoms listed above and you would like to chat to somebody about your concerns please click on the banner above or below.

Church Trauma and Mental Health

Everyone wants to be loved. Sometimes looking for love and friendship in a church environment can actually lead to trauma. Most churches ‘love bomb’ you when you first walk into their doors. Sadly the love is conditional. In other words the love you receive is based on your compliance with church rules and procedures. It also involves going along with church doctrines and not questioning anything.

Since Covid, the church world has had  a radical shift in how people respond to it. Forcing Christians to stay at home during peak infections has given Christians  the time to reflect and to do some research on what they have been taught. Salvation has always been about works. In other words if you are not working towards your salvation by being active in Christian activities you will not be saved. Christians have begun to question the legitimacy of the church and if God really expects us to attend church to be counted as righteous. If this is the case why did God allow Covid to stop all church activities?

Many Christians did not grow up fully understanding and studying the word of God. Christians have used the isolation periods at home during covid to read and reflect on some of the Bible verses. In doing so they have come across differences between Gods word and what the actual preacher at a particular church has said. Christians have always viewed the Pastors teachings as coming directly from God. Whatever the preacher taught was fact and the law much the same as Moses handed down the laws of God to the Israelites.

Millions of Christians now no longer believe that you have to go to church on a  Sunday in order to be saved. They no longer see this ritual as a duty that they need to honor to please God. Unfortunately there are the die hards who view another members absence from church as anti-God. This is when complications arise for the member who has opted not to go back to church. Friendships are put to the test and even close family realtionships. Being labeled anti-God or anti-church leaves one open to being bullied and shamed and feeling guilty and worthless. Losing ones sense of belonging is hard and when you arre gossiped about and ostracized from the church tribe it can wreck your whole world.

The journey away from church can be painful and confusing. It can cause us to question our faith. It can cause us to ask if there really is a God. Once our faith experiences shipwreck we are likely to suffer from intense anxiety, depression and even panic attacks. Treatment for church trauma is possible provided you seek help from a therapist who understands religion.

Healing From Church Trauma 

Healing from church trauma can be a long and difficult journey. Unfortunately there is not one process or solution to suit everyone who has suffered abuse at the hands of the church. The biggest mistake people make when seeking therapy is to look for answers in group forums on the internet. Some of the most bitter, vile and angry people are on those forums. People lash out at each other and religious zealots prowl these forums to defend their faith and their church. It  very often leads to more harm than good.

Where to Go For Help 

Therapists, counselors , lifecoaches and pyschologists can play a role in healing a person who is struggling to cope with church trauma. There is however a downside to seeing these experts if they do not have any religious experience and Bible knowledge. Mega churches, for example some of the evangelistic churches have put the fear of Hell in their members minds for decades. Anyone who believes God will torture sinners in a fiery pit of hell for ever and ever is likely to suffer from anxiety and panic attacks after leaving the church. Deprogramming a person will only be possible if the therapist is aware of the doctrine of hell and its history which is mostly linked to earlier civilizations long before the Bible was even written.

Are all Churches Evil?

No, not all churches are evil. However, the media has highlighted a number of concerns within some religious institutions. Pedophilia within the Catholic church began to receive huge attention in the 1980s -1990s. In 2002 The Boston Globe covered this issue extensively in the USA. Public attention and outcry forced officials to take all complaints seriously. In January 2013 an Australian Royal Commission was set up to investigate institutional abuse. This commissions findings resulted in many other countries looking into historic child abuse cases.

Most notably the Jehovahs Witnesses received allegations against them. Criminal charges followed plus law suits for the blatant neglect of children under their care. Lawsuits are currently ongoing. The results of these will set precedents for decades to come. This will hopefully  lead to religious institutions clearing up their acts and putting protection mechanisims in place to safeguard their children.

Is it possible to heal from church trauma? 

Yes it is possible to heal from church trauma. Under the right care and if the person you are talking to has sufficient Bible knowledge many fears and doubts can be addressed and questions answered. If you would like to discuss your fears and doubts with somebody who will understand you, please reach out to us by clicking on the image below:

Church Trauma

Shunning and excluding church members from attending church or church activities can have a profound effect on a person. Humans like animals are drawn to tribes and packs or groups. People are social animals and so its important that they maintain a connection with other people. Being excluded from the tribe can lead to trauma.

Is Church Trauma New?

Church Trauma is not new. Centuries ago people were burnt at the stake for having an opinion. Today its simply easier for the church to try to correct what it sees as negative behaviour by shunning  a person.

Avoiding Being Shunned 

Church members who wish to avoid being  shunned become very focused on the social cues within the church and they will do their best to fit into the culture so they can entrench themselves further.

They will also willingly go along  with the churches doctrines and teachings without questioning it.  An insecure person will never buck the trend. They do not wish to lose their sense of belonging and meaning in life.

Church Tactics

Churches use shunning as a means to motivate their members to fall back in line. They don’t necessarily want to lose you. Church members are the lifeblood of the church.

Without members financial contributions and active participation in church activties including preaching door to door to attract new members the church would not survive.

Modifying or manipualting a members behaviour by shunning them in an effort to coerce members to be more like the others is a tactic that has proven to be quite successful.

An example of a church which uses shunning as a tactic to win back its members is the Jehovahs Witnesses. They of course do not see shunning as anything but a loving provision from Jehovah.  Ex- Jehovahs witnesses who are now permanently out of the organization have fought a long uphill battle to stay out. Many have not won the battle.

Disfellowshipped witnesses who have felt lost in the world have had to endure many nights of meeting (church-congregation) attendance despite being ignore by the majority of the congregation for months until they were reinstated. The feeling of being loved and belonging is stronger than the embarrassment of being alone in the meetings or being gossiped about.

Mental Health 

An important aspect to understand about Jehovah’s Witnesses, in relation to mental health, is that Jehovah’s Witnesses teach their members that any member who disassociates from them or is disfellowshipped is ‘mentally ill’.

Being labelled as mentally ill, on top of an indoctrinated fear of secular authorities, presents a barrier for shunned individuals to seek help from mental health professionals during their adjustment process. As ex members have nobody to turn to for help they naturally return to the fold and they quickly conform to the groups expectations.

Dealing With Church Trauma 

Unfortunately , trained therapists who specialise in church trauma are very few and far between. Understanding church doctrines is critical if you are going to help a person deconstruct scriptures in a healthy way. Forcing your own opinion on somebody who has been hurt by the church is not advisable. People who are hurting have to be taken on a journey of discovery in  a slow methodical manner. Trust has to be built between the therapist and the person seeking therapy.

If you are in need of counseling and guidance after exiting your church please reach out to us on our counseling page.

Church Trauma Therapy

Whilst it is in some of our natures to help people, who are suffering from church trauma we have to be mindful of the things we may say.

What are the signs to look for that point to a toxic church environment?

• Being forced to preach door to door for your salvation.
• Never being allowed to have an opinion.
• Forced tithes. Paying 10% of your salary to the church.
• Acceptance of church doctrine before you are accepted by the church.
• Verbal abuse never feeling good enough and being told to repent.
• Protection of sexual abuse perpetrators and blaming the victims.
• Branding members as apostates for simply speaking the truth.
• Shunning and ex-communicating members.

Most people who have been exposed to a toxic church will adopt atheism as retaliation against the church or a person in the church that hurt them. They often put on a brave face and continue with life as if they are uneffected by their traumatic experiences. Sadly this is not the right approach. Burying ones head in the sand is only temporary. Eventually you have to come up for air. This is when reality bites and without the proper counseling it can be hugely damaging to a persons self esteem and the persons relationships at work, in social circles and in their marriage.

If you have experienced trauma through your church or a religious person and you would like to chat about it safely please reach out to me by clicking on the image below:

Church Trauma and Christianity

Many people find it hard to equate trauma with the church. A church is supposed to be a place where everyone is happy and filled with Gods Holy Spirit. In most cases many people do find that the church they attend is a force for good. Lives have been positively changed and people are generally happy.

There is however a downside to church attendance. This downside is usually experienced when members realise their minister is not as perfect as he appears to be. Sometimes its not only the senior minister or pastor that dissappoints members but other members of the church who are in positions of authority.

Church trauma and Christianity have been linked to a numer of factors. These factors include:

• Discovering that what a member has been taught their whole life is  a lie.
• Sexual abuse which can be physical or verbal or being forced to look at graphic images of sex acts.
• Gossip amongst members and a betrayal of confidence.
• Threats of being shunned and ex-communicated for having an opinion.
• Gender bias.
• Racial discrimination.

The above list is just an example of some of the factors that can be traumatic for members.

Repercussions of Leaving the Church 

Once members choose to leave the church or if they are ex-communicated it can wreck havoc on a members life. As a result of a member being tied to a particular church they may also lose their job and their lodging, and they may find that their close family members will also reject them.

Religious Trauma Symptoms 

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Panic Attacks
• Lack of Self-Confidence
• Feelings of Shame and Guilt

Counselors and pyschologists have the necessary skills and expertise to help victims of church trauma, however there are limits to the help a victim can receive from these therapists. This is because many therapists are not familiar with religious doctrines and often they are not able to dig down deeper in order to release victims from the torment they are experiencing. An example of this is the feelings of guilt and shame coupled with the belief that all sinners will be tortured in a fiery Hell for ever and ever.

Getting across these barriers is only possible with Bible knowledge. Christian eschatology which is a branch of study within  Christian theology is the study of the end or end things. It looks at subjects of discussion like death and the afterlife, Heaven and Hell etc. Whilst there are different views on these topics, ex church members have more than likely developed a fear of what is going to happen to them based on their relationship with the church.

Churches who claim to be Gods spokesperson and Gods only channel of communication on earth eg the Jehovahs Witnesses have damaged their members in a horrific way as they have been lead to believe that walking away from this organization essentially amounts to disowning God.

Members who walk away from their churches usually go through predictable stages as they grieve the loss of a simple, unquestioned faith. The phases are denial and anger, depression, bargaining and then finally acceptance. It is however extremly difficult for some to get to the acceptance stage.  If you need to find a safe space to talk about your journey after leaving your church please reach out to us by clicking on the image below: